Bidgood Bob is your typical, unrepentantly arrogant Alabama Crimson Tide fan. He takes his name from Bidgood Hall, home of the University of Alabama's Culverhouse School of Commerce and Business Administration, recently voted one of the the top business schools in West Alabama. These are Bob's cries for help.
Showing posts with label Crimson Tide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crimson Tide. Show all posts

September 22, 2010

Eyewitness Account of Duke Ass-Whipping

Durham, NC – Bidgood Bob’s traveling circus is back home after a trip to Tobacco Road for last weekend’s Alabama-Duke game, a 62-13 Crimson Tide win that wasn’t nearly as close as the final score indicated. The methodical spanking of the Blue Devils has been well-documented elsewhere, so the following are just some observations from a road-tested Crimson Tide fan.


The Setting – What College Football is All About, Mostly

The geography of Tobacco Road is wonderful – the area is crowded with tradition-rich basketball schools that dabble in football. Although Duke’s campus is in Durham, we set up our headquarters in nearby Chapel Hill. Since the Tarheels were at home against Georgia Tech Saturday we decided to tailgate on UNC’s campus instead of Duke’s, on the premise that we can see throngs of drunken Alabama fans any time.

We got to see two stunningly beautiful campuses – UNC with its Georgian and Federalist architecture and Duke with its Gothic style. It would have been worth the trip simply to tour campuses, if you like that sort of thing, which I do. Once we got over to Duke we found they take the “pedestrian campus” concept very seriously. Tailgating at UNC, you just find a spot in somebody’s yard, lift the trunk and go bottoms up, Bama-style. At Duke, on the other hand, you park off campus and hike in. Alas, we had to leave the coolers behind.

Of course, Saturday’s parking policy may have been adopted specifically to keep Bama’s huddled masses in line. For all I know Duke may let Wake Forest fans park on campus. Anyway, on the long walk to the stadium I noted that your average funeral procession is livelier than this bunch. Some guy yelled out, “Roll Tide baby!” and you should have seen the Duke fans turn to stare at the ruffian as if his cell phone had gone off during the Apostle’s Creed.

Wallace Wade Stadium is a jewel, and I strongly suggest that the design team working on Cramton Bowl go have a look at it. It’s a cozy venue without the corporate trappings we are used to at Alabama and Auburn. There’s a press box that might or might not have contained a suite or two. The bathrooms were nice (well, the one I went to was). Concessions are done county-fair style, with dozens of local vendors showing off their wares.

They had a nice-sized video screen in the end zone; otherwise you’d think you had stepped back in time a few decades to a time before naming rights, ribbon boards, fan-cams and luxury boxes. Trees and gardens surround the place and you can see Cameron Indoor Stadium and the spires of beautiful Duke Chapel from any seat in the house. Overall, a great place to watch a college football game.

The Crowd

At kickoff better than half the crowd was wearing crimson. My assessment was that the Bama fans were well-behaved guests, and the Duke folks went out of their way to make us feel welcome, even down to the nice touch of having their band play “Yea Alabama” before kickoff. That was most appreciated. The Bama Nation returned the favor, providing a standing ovation when Duke’s head basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski was introduced, fresh off the 2010 NCAA Championship and FIBA World Championship. They got a name for the winners in the world, and one of those names is Coach K. I forget the other one.

Bama fans gave another standing “O” for the surviving members of the 1944 Duke team, who beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl on January 1, 1945. A nice gentleman from Mobile was sitting next to me and he pointed out that all of Bama’s best players were busy saving the world from the Nazis and the Japanese, and that a full-strength Crimson Tide would have surely stomped Duke’s butt that day. I suggested that perhaps Duke was also missing key players from its team that year and the kindly old gentleman responded, “Nah, their rich daddies got them out of it.” A true Bama fan indeed. Somebody Google this for me, I am on deadline here.

The Game

Early on, the SEC officiating crew, apparently bending over backwards to prove their impartiality, decided to go to a video review of every other play. Combined with the TV timeouts following each Alabama touchdown, this resulted in a first quarter that took over an hour to play. A three-hour mercy killing was turning into a four-hour torture session. Maybe somebody from ABC got the word down to the field to let ‘em play.

There is no delicate way to put this: Duke is bad, bad, bad. Even worse, Duke is one of those terrible teams with players who like to do a lot of talking after the whistle and between plays. A number of Duke fans I spoke with told me (very politely) that they thought Alabama ran up the score, to which I responded (very politely) that the score could have easily gone over a hundred and that you should go get back in line for your basketball tickets.

Everyone saw Mark Ingram’s first score, your basic over-the-top TD. And everybody saw Ingram shove a Duke defender after the play and draw a well-deserved fifteen-yard penalty for it (it was a shove, not a head-butt – I had a better angle than ABC). Problem was, the crowd was small and wasn’t really into it, so everybody in the stadium heard the whistles when the linesmen signaled TD. So then a couple of Duke linebackers held Ingram above their heads and their gutless cur of a safety, #4, grabs Ingram by the ankle and starts to jerk.

On TV you can see Preston Dial convincing #4 to turn loose of Ingram’s leg, then ABC cuts away to a cheerleader shot or something. Well, Bama fans, you will be glad to know that the cowardly #4 (who cares what his name is?) was immediately surrounded by about 2,500 pounds of crimson bodyguards who were apparently explaining to #4 how the rest of the afternoon was going to go. The SEC officials got him out of there alive. If you are a Tide fan who recorded the game and want to have some fun, watch what Ingram does to #4 on his second TD run. It doesn’t get much better.

The Difference Between Us and Them

By the start of the third quarter most of the Duke fans were long gone but the Bama fans remained, like NASCAR fans waiting for the next big wreck. It was hot on Saturday, over 90 degrees at kickoff, and we decided to wander over to the shady side of the stadium for the second half. Taking our pick of seats on the fifty-yard line, we encountered a number of very cordial and curious Duke fans. Here is a sampling of the discourse:

Duke fan: “Sorry we couldn’t have had cooler weather for you guys. I guess down in Tuscaloosa you play all of your home games at night to beat the heat?”

Bidgood Bob: “Well, no, we play them whenever the TV networks tell us to.”

Duke fan: “How good is your punter?”

Bidgood Bob: “We don’t know.”

Duke fan: “We can’t wait to see your third-string tailback.”

Bidgood Bob: “You’re not going to like him, either.”

Duke Fan: “You should play us in basketball.”

Bidgood Bob: “Whatever.”

Seriously, it was a great trip to a beautiful place and we encountered nothing but very friendly, interesting people (except for Duke’s #4 - I hope he finds his jock strap some day). I would be in favor of Alabama’s continuing home-and-home series with the ACC for a number of reasons: their schools are in interesting places (except for FSU), their fans are very cordial (except for Miami) and they take their beatings well.

Bidgood Bob is a Montgomery businessman and unapologetic typical arrogant Alabama fan. He is not sure exactly how many national championships the Crimson Tide actually has, but eight have occurred during his lifetime. He doesn't know anything about football and writes more about the gameday experience than about the game itself. He seldom checks his facts and he is too lazy to Google things (like #4’s name).

January 17, 2010

RECAPPING A DECENT YEAR


Well, that's one less thing.

Not a damn thing BamaBing can add to this. Let's hope recruiting continues to go okay and we can stay scandal-free for a few years.


This could turn out to be a pretty nice ride if we don't screw it up. We usually screw it up, but there's always hope.




Orrin Hatch: Invite Boise State to the White House, too!

LINK: Here is Sen. Hatch's stupid letter


LINK: Here's what blogger Jan Crawford of CBS News thinks about his stupid letter


In Thursday's letter, Hatch says inviting both teams will "send a clear message" that champions should be chosen on the field. (Birmingham News 1/14/10) How about on the South Lawn?




Lane Kiffin

ESPN's Pat Forde said it best - Paris Hilton has paid more dues than this guy.

I am truly going to enjoy watching this little pecker-gnat crash and burn. It's a shame that he's going to help bring down one of the great college football programs with him but, hey, that's life. It takes about 17 years to recover from this type of stupid decision, especially with some scholarship losses thrown in.

You've got to give him credit, though. Kiffin must have one hell of a live boy/dead girl photo album and he's not afraid to use it.

Urban Meyer is a big ole sissy. That's all I can come up with.

Tommy Tuberville would have been a better fit at South Florida.

Steve Spurrier is now only in it for the fat salary. Am I the only one who can see this?

LSU will again have top-tier talent coached by the dumbass Les Miles, who boasts the highest off-Wall Street salary to brains ratio in the history of earth.

I don't think Mark Richt recruits hard enough.

One institution in the SEC has characteristics of a Potemkin Village. I will do a whole blog post on this theme sometime before signing day.
THIS YEAR'S "STATEMENT OF THE OBVIOUS" AWARD:
New Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley:
"I'm not Nick Saban."

October 25, 2009

Bama-UT True Confession -- I Couldn't Watch It!!



True confessions time... I just couldn't watch it. 

There I sat in East Level U-4, Section JJ, row 30, and the Tide had a comfortable, if not terribly impressive, 12-3 lead over the dog-ass Vols. I think there were about four minutes left in the game, Bama had the ball, and the asshole next to me had finally reached the decibel, football expertise and halitosis levels that only a fifth of Early Times can provide on a fall afternoon. 

If you are at all familiar with Bryant-Denny Stadium geography, then you know the above-referenced seat is not only the highest seat in the house, it is also very close to the 50-yard line, making it equidistant from either the north or the south ramp. In other words, if I stayed until the end, I was going to be the last one out of the stadium. The game apparently well in hand, I decided to bolt.

I stopped at the top of the ramp just in time to see Mark Ingram lose the first fumble of his career. Ah, shit. I had fucked up the karma by leaving my seat. Decision time. It took sure-footed mountain goat skills to get down from there. Was I willing to use my sherpa skills to get back up? Not bloody likely. I stayed on the ramp with the smokers and the pacers and watched the dog-ass Vols drive it down and score a touchdown to make it 12-10 Alabama. 


Another change of karma was needed, so I decided to spiral down one more level to watch the onside kick. I found an open spot, which happened to be next to a besotted fan of the dog-ass Vols. This guy was apparently one of those kumbaya, smile-on-your-brother-type drunks who kept telling me what a great game it had been and how neither team deserved to lose. Bullshit. Of course Tennessee deserved to lose. I wanted to toss him over the side into the Bama student section, where the undergrads would have ripped his UT sanitation worker uniform from his smarmy dead carcass and drank his blood, just for the alcohol content. That's what I should've done. The karma was already bad enough, though, so rather than commit a justifiable homicide I decided to spiral down one more.

The next level down I had to peer through a framework of rebar to see the field but at least there weren't any dog-ass Vol fans down there. Down in the bowels of the construction zone (Great! 10,000 more drunken fools looking for parking spaces and puking in the bushes at the KD house next season) I was able to see UT recover the onside kick, then complete a pass down to about our 25. My god, I had screwed the karma up so badly that I only had one choice... GET MY UNLUCKY ASS OUT OF THE STADIUM, QUICK.

While the dog-ass Vols ran a play to center it up, ran off all but the last 4 seconds, then called time out to get the kicker on the field, yours truly was busting his ass to get down those ramps. Seconds after I cleared the exit gate I heard the roar. It was a big roar, one of the biggest ever. Karma was restored.

Many think that Terrence Cody was the hero of this game but now you know it was really me.