Let me see if I've got this straight. The SEC will make huge money if Alabama and Florida stay ranked 1 and 2, thereby guaranteeing an SEC team will appear in the BCS championship game. SEC Commissioner Mike Slive is doing this by getting all eight conference officiating crews in on the scam with him. That's 56 on-the-field officials, plus replay officials, clock operators, etc. That is a lot of folks in cahoots with each other. A lot more than the Lufthansa job, even.
There must be a secret SEC slush fund from which to pay these bent referees, these scurrilous bank executives, accountants, lawyers and brokers, because God knows they can't make a decent living at their day jobs. What does it cost to fix an SEC football game, anyway? Are all SEC game officials blindly loyal to Lord Slive and the One True Conference? Are you Conspiracy Theorists that fucking dumb? Remember the old Sicilian saying... "Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead."
And Coach Kiffin, you squalling brat... if you still think there was something funny going on in Tuscaloosa, consider that
Parity: Code Word for "What About Us Losers?"
Memo to you ESPN geniuses now bemoaning the "disappointing" college football season: Apparently this "parity" thing is not all it's cracked up to be. Come on, make up your mind. In a system designed to promote varying degrees of "average" it shouldn't shock anybody that injuries and fatigue make the Big Boys look increasingly "vulnerable" as the season wears on. Sure, we get an also-ran Cinderella every now and then. Most of the time, though, parity simply means that Vanderbilt gets its ass beat 34-17 by a good team instead of 63-3. Big deal.
Heisman Angst
If you fellas at ESPN hadn't pre-ordained Tebow, Bradford and McCoy as the Holy Trinity before a ball was ever snapped, maybe this season wouldn't be such a big disappointment to you.
What fine young men. Surely one of you
will win the Heisman and marry my daughter.
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