Indisputable photo evidence CLEARLY shows LSU wuz robbed!

... of their MANHOOD.

I am tired of this Brady Bunch shit from LSU fans.

I've seen the high-def video over and over. I really think it was an interception, but I don't think the replay official could see indisputable evidence sufficient to overturn the call made on the field. I also don't think it would have made a difference. LSU was tired, hurt and whipped by then, but hey, they could have come back and won the game. We'll never know.

I do know this much though: if the idiot Les Miles hadn't gone for two when he did, the score would have been 23-16 when LSU did get the ball back.  Then the Bengal Tigers would have had plenty of time to win or send it into overtime. And if LSU was half as well-coached as your average high school JV squad, then maybe they wouldn't have pissed away all three of their time-outs like they did. So that left LSU with a short clock and no time-outs, but still a chance to score and get an onside kick. Hell, it worked for Tennessee. But the LSU offense gave up two sacks and an interception in a two-minute drill that looked about as crisp as underdone boudin balls, or whatever those people eat that's not very crisp. 

Why did LSU lose this game? Was it their tired, whipped football team that got physically dominated in the 4th quarter? Was it their cornerback with leg cramps? Was it their stream-of-consciousness head coach whose lucky horseshoe finally fell out of his ass? Was it their backup QB who throws like he's handcuffed? No, none of these items cost LSU the game -- it was the SEC ref conspiracy! And boy, do the Tigah fans have the pictures to prove it. 

Over the last three days I have seen a hundred still photographs showing indisputable evidence that BAMA CHEATED and that the SEC OFFICIALS WERE IN ON IT.

For example, the photo below was sent to me this morning by an LSU fan claiming it CLEARLY shows a facemask penalty. I agree, if it was a live play. Was this the play blown dead before the snap when the LSU right tackle jumped? If not, which one should've been flagged for the facemask penalty? Can you tell from a photo? I guess you can, so I'll play along.

The picture below CLEARLY shows #24 invoking the little-known "Dirt Clod Rule."

"If the turf got a hole, the game must be stole."

The photo below CLEARLY shows Jerrell Harris hugging it out (awww) with his Bengal Tiger BFF:

The photo below CLEARLY shows Jordan Jefferson sitting on his ass, thinking "Screw this." 

"Pffft."

This photo CLEARLY shows the enthusiastic and courageous team leader Jefferson, although injured and on the sideline with a terrible boo-boo on his ankle, using his infectious leadership skills to rally the Bengal Tigers to a victory:

"Please, God, don't put me back in there."

This is CLEARLY the newest Daniel Moore painting, entitled Make His Ass Quit. Regarding the photo version of this, one LSU friend of mine whined, "Our guys must have been blocked in the back." To which I replied, "Whatever."

There are a number of things going on in the photo below. First, this is what we commonly call an arm tackle, which can usually slow #22 down as much as a bug slows down a Mack truck's windshield. But notice that the LSU defender is CLEARLY LOWERING HIS HEAD, which is SPEARING and could have MAIMED our guy, so I guess the CHEATING ASS SEC REFS MISSED THIS ONE TOO.

This is CLEARLY a photo of Bama's Lorenzo Washington lowering his head to deliver a potentially life-threatening hit on the unsuspecting Jefferson:

No wait, wrong game. 
And that's one of LSU's altar boys on the stop.

This is CLEARLY an elephant.

This is indisputable photo evidence of a woman on the back of a motorcycle with flames CLEARLY coming out of her butt.

Below is indisputable photo evidence of my friend Thomas CLEARLY about to land a Great White Shark with a Zebco 33 on 8-pound test using a Mepp's #2 spinner. Notice he is about to use the net. What a pussy.

Lastly, here is indisputable photo evidence of Bruce Springsteen CLEARLY belting out the chorus of Hey Tigahs! We Just Beat the Hell Out Of You as the rest of the E Street Band band jams:

Oh, I almost forgot about the Brady Bunch reference. I remembered the episode (#60; I googled it) when Greg wanted to play football so he could get the girl, but Carol was afraid he'd get hurt, then Mike said let's let him play, then Greg wins a starting job and gets the girl (a real groovy girl). Then wouldn't you know it, Greg gets hurt in practice, not a bad injury, like an ACL or a sports hernia, but bad enough that Carol won't let him play in the big game. So the coach asks Greg to be the "official team photographer," but Greg is afraid the groovy chick won't go for some uncool photographer. But he winds up taking a picture of the other team's winning touchdown play and when he enlarges the photo we find out that the other team's receiver was CLEARLY out of bounds. Greg is the hero because the coach is going to "appeal" the touchdown call based on indisputable photo evidence. Greg winds up the hero, gets the groovy girl and learns the valuable lesson that you don't have to be a star ballplayer to score chicks and help the team win. So anyway, it's 1971 and I'm watching this piece of crap show with my two brothers and we call HORSE SHIT ON THAT because even as little snot-nosed kids we knew you can't reverse the outcome of a football game based on some fucking picture.