Context-free comments for future Verne & Gary Shows

Re: CBS broadcast, Bama-Arkansas (Sept. 26) - I'm willing to give Verne Lundquist the benefit of the doubt when he blurted, apropos of nothing, after a Mark Ingram carry, "His father is incarcerated."

Let's assume Verne was planning to put that comment into some sort of context, a la Adrian Peterson at Oklahoma a few years ago, and cut the old guy some slack. On the other hand, if the sole intention was to make a context-free statement of fact, here are some others they can use on future Verne & Gary shows:

Gary: "That was a great call by Coach Kiffin."

Verne: "Kiffin's wife. Now there's a babe."

Gary: "What a tackle by Rennie Curran!"

Verne: "His West African relatives live in squalor."

Gary: "Nice job of pushing the pocket by Jerrell Powe."

Verne: "He barely got into school."

Gary: "Tim Tebow is an amazing leader."

Verne: "Bob Tebow, head of Bob Tebow Ministries, is a member of the posh Timuquana Country Club."

Gary: "Great downfield block by Tommy Trott."

Verne: "His father is a successful optometrist."

Gary: "Alabama has some big holes to fill on the offensive line."

Verne: "Andre Smith has gigantic boobs."

As for Verne's sidekick, the very capable Gary Danielson, I have but one request -- once, just once, react to a big Bama play with something other than a vocal wince. I swear, Gary, every time the Crimson Tide intercepts a pass it's like somebody dropped a canned ham on your toe.